Hey baby girl,
Happy birthday to my amazing look-alike. Welcome to a new decade.
I know you don’t feel so good this year. I wish I could hold your face and tell you it is going to be okay. I wish I could give you a hug and make everything melt away.
I know you had plans you wanted to fulfil…for 5 years and you have not even come close. I know you are still hung up on M even though it has been years. (Yes, I know you still visit his IG page once in a blue moon to check if he has posted anything. I am glad you found that picture of the girl. I hope it gives you the strength to move on, instead of you wishing he comes back. Yes, I know he was perfect, except for that one thing)
I know about U also. I am not sure how/why he continued talking to you, even when you told him you couldn’t cook (I mean an African girl not cooking. I wonder if he thinks you are swimming in money). I know the conversations are awkward now, after that weird quarrel you both had. It is funny how he just wants everything to go back to the same way things were. You both obviously have nothing to say to each other.
I know how Tim ghosted you. I did tell you to stop texting him. Glad you have.
I know how you didn’t want to be in this place…in a lot of areas – career-wise, financially, and even spiritually. The bitter-sweet feeling that comes when you see people you have grown up with leave you where you are. Feels like everyone is moving, except you. I mean your younger cousin got married before you.
Even your travel plans this year has been thwarted because of the corona-virus pandemic. Everything just seems to be going against you currently. Nobody seems to understand anything you are currently going through. You smile, but hurt a lot.
I know people are texting you and you don’t want to read it. You just want to curl up and remain in your room, isolating everyone else. I know you feel like you have failed.
So here is what I will do. I will raise your chin, and wipe your tears. I am going to give you a kiss on your cheek and smile through my tears and tell you things are going to work out. I am going to hug you while you cry, till you are spent.
I know things don’t look good at all. I know you want out of a lot of things. I know you want clarity on so many things. I also know that you feel you never enjoyed your childhood and grew up too fast. I know you’re scared. Really scared deep down.
Do something for me. Tell God how you really feel. Not just mumble prayers, but how you’d tell me. He has always been there. Remember how you felt He hugged you once? He still loves you that much.
I will be there soon.
Remember, I love you so much it hurts.
Don’t forget that you’re amazing. I know you’re tired of hearing that things will change soon, but it will be. I just want you to be strong. Yes, I know. You are tired of being strong. Do this for me, please? For me and you. You are stronger than you think.
I still love you, even though you’re an annoying yet you are still my amazing look-alike. I will always love you everyday and every minute.
Xoxo,
Your look-alike.
mystque 